STOP, PRAY and LISTEN!

You know those times when you just constantly feel challenged by things - people - events - songs! Yeah its been like that for me the last couple of weeks  (well this last month really!)  I have been trying to work out what my 'what next' is - the first issue here being me 'TRYING TO WORK IT OUT!' Where I'm supposed to go, what I'm meant to be doing. Yet every time time I got somewhere or found something and thought OK so maybe that's it, I've gone to fill forms in application etc. and its brought with it an overwhelming feeling of this isn't right, I haven't felt peace with it, and a few times I've heard God say to me -Stop this isn't for you! Not yet - and the odd time -WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! ( yes God literally is that straight forward with me!)  As you can possibly imagine I started to get a little bit stressy, I got frustrated with God, all I could see was me getting annoyed with not having things to do, with wanting to be doing things yet having nothing to do! Second issue here - NOT ASKING THE NEXT QUESTIONS! I wasn't asking God what was for me then, what do YOU want me doing, where do YOU want me etc.. I wasn't allowing myself to trust that there was something God wanted me to do. Third issue - NOT TRUSTING GOD HAD CONTROL! 

See me and God have this relationship where if I try and ignore what he is saying directly to me, he uses those people around me and if I still somehow manage to miss/ignore it then he uses other things, music, teachings, random articles on-line and other obvious things.  But it comes down to whether or not I actually CHOOSE to LISTEN to what he is saying to me and then CHOOSE whether I will act on it ( or not.)  Unfortunately on this occasion I have tried to work it out myself, I didn't trust what God was trying to say to me, I didn't trust that it was actually God, and if it was it wasn't right - he had got it wrong!!  AND YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! 

However I was reminded recently about a few things - one of which was a 'response' that I used to give to girls who asked me 'advice' or just general questions while I was at Mercy - one that nearly every girl at my graduation spoke about and mentioned that I had said to them - STOP, PRAY AND LISTEN TO WHAT GOD IS SAYING TO YOU! So that's what I did ( eventually) I stopped, I prayed and I ACTUALLY listened to what God was trying to say to me. The thing that I had felt in my heart, yet chose to ignore because I didn't believe that was what I was supposed to be doing, was actually what God wanted me to do! It doesn't make much sense, and some people may think its me being lazy but It's time for me to stop and look after me, to take time out to grow and strengthen the relationship I have with God. To strengthen my 'vulnerable' walls. It is also time for me to take that step of faith and to share the amazing things God has done in my life with others. My testimony/life is not just for me any more, it could be the lifeline that somebody needs to hear, the drop of hope into someones hopelessness, the word that someone has been waiting for. I don't know who needs to hear it or what exactly needs to be heard but I DO KNOW that GOD will use it. I know that God gave me the gift of being an encourager to others and that's what I'm going to do. I know that God wants me to take time for just me and him, before i step into whatever he has for me just around the next corner. I have to TRUST that God is in control, that he sees he bigger picture. God has an amazing plan for my life and he knows how to get me there too.

 Doing 'nothing' may seem like I'm being lazy and other people may have an issue with it - but actually me 'doing nothing' is not being lazy at all - and in actual fact its taking a huge amount of prayer and effort for me to step into this next season. And I wont completely be doing nothing I have things to do, things I'm still involved in, serving others but at the end of the day what others think doesn't matter any more because its between me and God. I know that God wants me to start preaching at church - a huge step for me, and something I have been 'putting off' for most of the year ( but that's another post in itself!)  And I know that there are things God wants me to do in my future, some of which he has shown me others he will when its the right time but for now I'm ready to step into what God has for me now - and am excited to see what comes from it and where God takes me! 

SO Have you stopped, prayed and actually Listened recently! You never know you may hear something different!